If Only
by Sooky-babi
Summary: ‘My best friend is popular, attractive and perfect. But if only…the stupid blonde idiot would realize how much I love him.’ Slight humor, Sasuke vs. Sai for Naruto.AU NaruxSasu, SasuxNaru, SaixNaru. Unrequieted love...at the start


**Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto…I own a lot of merchandise though tee hee!**

**Warnings: Implied homosexualism…wait I did state this was a YAOI fanfic so shoo if you don't like this stuff. **

Sooky is back…my god I'm back with another "start" I'll see how you guys respond to this new fic and same old same old I'll continue it if there's enough interest.

I'm sick of writing SasuNaru…so…yes I'm trying NaruSasu…but this one is a little different. Bare with me for Sasuke can be a little OCC coz I'm working him as the underdog here.

I should have been doing my lit review for biochem…but here it is!

Enjoy.

**Parings: SasuNaru, NaruSasu, SaiNaru **

**Summary:**

'My best friend is popular, attractive and perfect. But if only…the stupid blonde idiot would realize how much I love him.' Slight humor, Sasuke vs. Sai for Naruto.AU NaruxSasu, SasuxNaru, SaixNaru.

**If Only….**

**Chapter One: **

**If Only… you knew. **

"Sasuke!! We're gonna be late if you don't hurry up!" I could hear Naruto's loud chirpy

voice hollaring from outside.

It was about 7.50 am on a Monday morning and I, as usual, wasn't exactly energetic.

"I'll be right out, just gimme a minute!" I yelled back.

I turned back quickly selecting my outfit for the day from a pile sitting in the corner of my room.

Drawing a black t-shirt over my top and clumsily threading my legs into denim cords. I rushed to pick up my side bag and a notebook.

The morning light was just beginning to seep through the windows.

"God I hate mornings," grumbling to myself.

We were running late, so a few minutes more wouldn't make any difference I thought to myself as I double checked my hair in the mirror.

I had slept with my hair wet again, now my messed up mass of raven hair stared back at me, mocking me as it refused to be tamed.

I also noticed tell tale signs of light nights were surfacing under my onyx eyes.

'_Shit, I'm looking more more like Itachi these days…'_

I frowned thinking shallow thoughts.

My mom had always insisted that I was handsome, but I didn't really buy it. I didn't exactly have people screaming and lighting themselves on fire when they saw me, but I did wish I was a bit more striking at least enough for him to notice me…

I decided to make haste, roughly combing my dark fringes to something satisfactory.

I turned around to head out the door.

_BAM!_

Next I knew my buttocks were planted flat on the floor with the rest of the contents of my bag.

"Naruto… you idiot…don't sneak up on me like that!" I spat as I gazed up at a beaming face.

His soft lips curled into a cheeky grin.

It worries me that anyone…could be to awake at this cursed hour.

"Heh, it's your fault for being slow," he said as he crouched down to help me gather the ruins of my schoolwork.

"I'm not slow; I just work at my own pace." I spat defensively.

"Your pace is gonna make us late...again." he pouted, knowing the teachers will scour his rear with hot water and he'd have to weasel his way out of detention once again.

I sent him a cold glare.

He returned with upturned lips.

_Damn his smile_

Unlike me, Naruto was a 'rise and shine' type and even though the sun wasn't even up, he'd be naturally caffeinated.

In contrast I'm a complete night owl. Being around Naruto…you'd have to prepare some sunglasses because the intensity of brightness blinds.

By now my head was already clear as day.

"Alright, alright. Let's get going. My fucking back is gonna hurt all day now."

"Want me to rub your boo-boo so you can stop whining?" he teased.

_Damn it Naruto…don't say these things_

I looked at him…this idiot was completely oblivious to what I felt for him...

He shrugged continuing to blind me with his goofy grin.

"I am not whining and I have every right to seeing as how I just ran into a fucking brick wall."

"You're just jealous you're not as manly as I."

He even dared to batter his long eyelashes at me.

With that Naruto initiated poses, flexing his slim toned body as we headed out of the door.

I have to admit Naruto could easily get mistaken for the perfect model.

He was over a head taller than me standing at around 6'2".

Naruto was definitely athletic and had the nice, filled out and defined body to show for it, even at 17.

A natural tan that was evident of his out going lifestyle radiated.

There was a charismatic mix of scrawny unkempt blond hair with a pair of electric blue eyes that flooded back memories of summer skies when you looked into them.

The part I love most were his unusual set of birthmarks, three whiskers like strokes on his cheeks that set him apart.

They made him more adorable.

He was a god.

Seriously, I love this idiot to death and I can't imagine my life without him, sure there were times I had incredible urges to hit him when he stepped out of line...so I did.

Still consumed in his pose, I rotated around and punched him in the stomach...lightly enough to not cause any real damage, but hard enough to make him buckle over and get the wind knocked out of him.

"AGRH! You fucking ass," The blonde squeezed out between hissing lips whilst holding his stomach.

"Sorry Kitty, but you really had that coming." I teased calling Naruto the pet name I developed for him.

I was sure my punitive attack didn't do any damage at all.

It probably hurt me more hitting the set steel abs of his; I passed him a shrug and continued walking down the street to the subway station.

He soon caught up and then suddenly, I felt his arm around my shoulder.

My heart clenched as his warmth seeped thru the thin material.

"Alright, maybe I did have that coming, but anyway...I know you don't like me bugging you too much about this, but it's the beginning of the school year so

now's the time."

I cringed internally...and maybe a little externally.

"Come on Naruto, not this crap again. Get this into your thick head. I don't have any kind of social disorder. I just don't like spending time with most of the people at

school."

That was an understatement.

Ever since I started my first year…I realized...the vast majority of student bodies were idiots in their own way.

I could barely stand being in the same building for 7 hours of the day, let alone voluntarily spend additional time with them outside of school.

"Hey Sasuke, you really should at least ATTEMPT to hang out with some

people from school. It wouldn't kill you to change your daily up, school, practice, home, work and sleep regime. I could probably count how many people you speak to in a day on one hand and I can't even say not counting me cause that would bring you down to zero."

As much as I wanted to shut my idiot up, he was sorta right. I wasn't antisocial so much as I was picky about whom I spent any amount of time with.

Still, I couldn't let him win an argument and let that get to his head.

"Well you should be glad that I even talk to you. It means that you have at

least half a brain and don't say like' or wicked' every other word."

"Like, I don't know like what you're talking about. Everyone at school is

like, completely wicked, like..." I couldn't even let him finish so I

elbowed him in the stomach.

"Oowie, Sasuke is having an anti Naruto day!"

"You should know better than to annoy me this early in the morning before."

By that time we were at the bus stop. Just in time for before it left, we climbed in flashing our passes at the uninterested bus driver.

I picked the closest unoccupied seats.

Naruto followed, sitting next to me innocently.

I couldn't help it, but turned slightly to steal glances at his face.

School was only around 25 mins away and sitting next to him like this every school day was a godsend.

He looked concern…It must be because we were running late again…I guess that's my fault.

But years of having to drag my sorry non-morning welcoming ass to school hasn't been the most interesting event of my daily life.

Then I found those blue eyes meeting my own.

Startled I turned towards the window.

Did he catch me looking at him?

Naruto started to rumble on next to me. I nodded and kept my gaze out the window.

A little embarrassed over the fact I got flustered like that.

"Alright, look. I'm not just gonna drop this. You need more of a social life."

"Why?"

"Being honest you need some practice interacting with humans. It may actually perk you up a bit. See socializing is usually fun & relaxing, which you definitely need. God you're wound up tighter than Tsunade when it comes to money."

I was starting to get a little annoyed at Naruto's haggling.

"Naruto just lay off. I'm not gonna have fun or be relaxed if 'socializing' is just shoved down my throat ok. Besides, I'm looking forwards to never seeing these 'people' after we graduate"

How I envisioned my ideal life in college a place to study what I wanted, associate with who I wanted and didn't have to deal with the petty drama and social expectations associated with high school. And the horrid masses of immaturity that lied within the social hierarchy.

There was the additional fact that for 6 hours of the day, my life was ruled by a bell.

I felt like one of pavlov's dog being conditioned.

"Oh yeah, and are you saying you're not human?"

"Damn right. I never said you had problems with associating with divine beings like moi. OI, DON'T HIT ME!"

"Not the face! Not my beautiful faceeeee!" he squealed.

The blonde motioned to shield himself, expecting me to attack.

I rolled my eyes & shook my head pitifully him.

Truth be told, I was usually the one who would always hit him...in a friendly way of course...but Naruto really never laid a hand on me period. He has been my best friend since we were 8 years old. My family moved onto the street and he happened to live across in the house opposite.

As soon as he spotted me on our lawn he had tackled me down and condemned me the position of his playmate. The proximity was great and soon enough we were practically inseparable. In a short time we had free reign in each other's respective homes and our families got very accustomed to us being together. Sometimes we'd have spurts of upwards of a week where Naruto would stay at my house or I would stay at his. Our families hardly concerned themselves with it at all.

Unfortunately, my family life wasn't exactly ideal. My older brother and I never got along and I loved my mom, she isn't that stable. …long story short…

I had an abusive father.

Wait …I don't have one.

That bastard lost his rights the day he left the family 6 years ago.

Naruto knew about it early on...especially when I would show up at his house crying and bearing bruises. Thankfully after a lot of struggling and fighting, he was completely out of our lives.

Still, things lingered on from those days. Naruto had become very protective of me over the years and would quite literally go on a Godzilla rampage if anyone ever laid a hand on me.

He has never hit me once, even in play fights.

I think he was always afraid that he might traumatize me or bring out a bad memory or something. I told him numerous times that there was nothing to worry about and that I could take care of myself, but his protective nature never ceased. In many ways I was

very glad for it. It's a good feeling always having someone at your back and making sure you're ok.

"Look, if it makes you get off my back, I will TRY to socialize with the fucktards at school, 'kay?"

"Yay! But you better make an effort. I'll know if you aren't and you can't escape me."

"What ever dumbass," his laughter prompted another roll of my eyes.

There was a long silence as we sat out another stretch of road for 10 mins.

"What's on your mind?" popped upped as I was interrupted from my people watching.

"mmm…nothing. Well, trying to bring up names of people that I could possibly tolerate long enough to hold an intellectual conversation with at school to get you off my back."

"Oh, that's great! I can't believe Sasuke's really going to put in the effort." He looked genuinely pleased.

_Silly idiot…_

"Well, why don't you start with your soccer team? I mean most of the guys are people who share the same interest as you right? I'm sure you'll hit it off with one of the guys"

"I play soccer because I like playing soccer. Besides, the team has the

collective intelligence of a scrambled egg. Hecks, even you might have more brains then them, so why would I bother?"

"Oi, stop the anti-Naruto! Come on, Sasuke have you actually talked to anyone of them long enough to know if they even speak English? Well, beyond, I'M OPEN!' or KICK IT'?"

He had a point, after eliminating those phrases, I don't think I've really heard any other evidence that any of them spoke English.

"What else are we meant to say? Distract him so the ball smacks his face?."

"That's my point. Try talking to them when you're NOT playing."

"As in not on the field?"

"God damn it Sasuke, even you can be dumb sometimes. I feel like a miracle worker but this is good Sasuke, very good we are progressing!!" Naruto melodramatically exclaimed whilst simultaneously nodding furiously as he clamped my face between his large warm hands.

I sighed.

His hands left my cheeks, but I felt my face sear with heat.

I swallowed.

"If you put it that way…the group usually heads out for snacks after practice and they've asked me to go…"

"ARE YOU INSANE?! Why haven't you ever gone?"

"Well, I only say pass it & kick it to them anyways not like I know them or anything and anyhow it'd probably just be awkward anyway."

"Sasuke…you don't automatically know people, you actually have to meet them

& spend some time before that."

"You are so lucky to have me as your guide towards being on top of the social prowess!"

"Whatever." I was tired of rolling my eyes.

"So...if the guys ask you out after practice today…promise me you'll accept. I won't be around but you better try your hardest to crawl out of that hermit shell of yours"

"Why won't you be around?"

"I'm meeting up with Sai after school for a while."

"Oh." I guess it came out a bit too sad.

"Aw come on Sasuke, he is a nice guy you know and as much as I love spending time

with you, I have certain needs that he is suited to provide," The Blonde added a wink.

I think I felt a bit nauseous after hearing that.

"Alright, if they ask me again, I'll go, fine?" I snapped at him, annoyed he brought up a name I didn't want to hear so early in the morning.

…_even if they ask me I'll decline like every other time. _

There was a more important issue pressing, little did Naruto know I had his back when it came to Sai.

Sai is currently the head of the art club that he himself founded when he freshly transferred into our high school last year.

He has the same pale porcelain skin dark raven hair as me. I think he is slightly taller. But the main difference is that asshole is a creep.

That scheming bastard only wants to get his sleazy finger onto Naruto.

Last semester I caught him tracing his dirty fingers over Naruto's muscles, trying to pass it as teaching Naruto to draw contours of the body.

_My white porcelain arse he was… _

"Naruto, why are you continuing with art club after school? Last time when you showed me your drawing of a man you were still using stick figures."

He gave me this exasperated look as if he was blown away.

His eyes dampened as if I insulted him.

"Hey, I meant you know you're part of so many clubs already. Can't you concentrate on one instead?"

"Shut up ass, I like drawing and Sai says I'm improving. And he is a really cool guy to be with."

_God…I don't want to listen to anymore of this. _

_Naruto can't you freakin' see he has his hands all over you when you walk into the room. _

"Wait…Sasuke don't you like him?"

"…"

I wasn't especially fond of the blonde's art teacher...actually scratch that. I really hated his guts.

"Oh man, Sasuke you can't do this to every body you HAVEN'T even TRIED to talk to him properly. I don't even think you've spoken to him once!"

"Well there's not much to say when I plan to only eat my lunch in the cafeteria."

Unfortunately, Naruto…as bright as he is attracts a lot of pests that hang around him during breaks.

I'm not jealous that Naruto is popular…I'm frustrated.

I want him all to myself.

"Come on don't be like that. I know you don't really like Sai and all, but I really wish you two would get along."

_Correction Naruto I __**hate**__ him and if looks could kill… _

"We get along fine...as long as we're not in the same time zone."

"Yeah, mutual silence is sooooo entertaining," he said sarcastically.

Damn right we have a mutual relationship, one of hate. If we were ever near each other and Naruto wasn't around, he'd either not speak to me and give me evil looks or just tell me to lay off Naruto and get a life.

Naruto actually heard him say that once and he went apeshit on Sai…Oh wasn't that just delightfully touching...well, for me at least.

I'm convinced Sai is plotting my death, and most likely expressed on one of his vivid "talented" work pieces.

Finally the bus pulled into the final stop, just in front of the entrance where other late arrivals were dashing thru the front gates trying to make it before the bell chimed.

"All right Sooky. I'm going to run for it I'll see you at lunch, k?"

Sooky was a nickname Kitty called me came from the days when we were kids.

See we are close closer than you'll ever be Sai take that!

I felt happier being able to acknowledge that my relationship with Naruto was truly deeper than that Sai could ever have with him.

"Laters."

The budding artist ran off to class and I finished grabbing my books from my locker and ran off as well.

I managed to slide into the class all of a second ahead of the bell.

Before my teacher Kakashi gave me a smile as I barely evaded being late.

"Well, nice of you to join us Sasuke…on time for once."

"Actually twice, I made it on time last Thursday too. Glad you're on time for once too"

The class got a bit of a laugh out of that one. Our teacher was always late so it didn't really matter if I was.

Kakashi hushed up everyone and started the lesson and I quickly zoned out. I was already ahead of the academics so it didn't really matter…

I was so happy when lunch came around. After spending three hours carefully planning on how to ensure that I could check up the arts common room before anything could happen to Naruto during soccer practice.

As I headed into the lunchroom, I spied Naruto at the usual table.

Unlike me, Naruto was a social butterfly. No matter where he was, except when he was with just me actually, he was surrounded by people. Given his personality and his looks, it was no surprise. The blonde was one of the nicest people around and just fun to be around. I sat with him and his friends at lunch usually, but I didn't really speak to anyone other than him.

When we both started high school, Naruto nagged me about not saying a word in our group. I pleased him by trying to chime in at least once during the group conversations, just to let everybody know I was still alive. Naruto never tried to push his friends on me or vice versa.

That's why I love him so much.

Sadly, Sai decided to join us today and whilst Naruto turned his head to speak to another friend I receive my daily dosage of evil look from my enemy as I made way towards the table.

Actually today I was feeling super, so I decided to give him a nice big toothy grin as I sat down next to Naruto.

Idle conversations went on for most of lunch. I chimed in once in a while, but mostly I was just lost in my own thoughts. More and more often, I would just sit and think about things that I hadn't experienced...and sadly most of them were about Naruto.

I had known was gay for a few years, but I had hardly done anything to act on the feelings that seemed ever present in my mind and my heart. I came to terms with the fact that I was in love with the idiot a while before, but dealing with it every day was starting to weigh on me.

I guess one of the main reasons I didn't have any friends was because I'd only want to spend time with him and anyone else was just a distraction.

I preferred being alone so I could think about him uninterrupted.

Naruto had tried to coax me into dating girls on a few occasions, but I was always very uninterested. Oddly enough, unlike most their high school guys, he never said anything on the lines of what are you gay or something?' when faced with my disinterest in girls.

He would always just say that I'd find the right one eventually. He was always too sweet and looking for the optimistic approach with me. I had my share of stealing glances at hot guys that I saw, but I never craved attention from anyone like I did with Naruto.

"Hey Sasuke, when's your next game? We were thinking about going to watch and then maybe hang out or something after." Kiba's question broke my thoughts and I was probably staring in bewilderment for a few seconds. Kiba was one of Naruto's friends and while I saw him practically everyday, I don't think he'd ever just spoke directly to me like that before.

I had to find my voice before stuttering my answer.

"U-urh...it's next tuesday at 6. Do you seriously want to come and be bored off your asses for an hour and a half?"

"Ha. Nah, it'll be fun. Besides, we would come cheer you on. We all want to see you attack some forward that's twice your size and get him to crack it at you." Aside from school and my obsession with my best friend, playing soccer was something I spent a lot of time on and I even enjoyed it.

I guess I had talent for it, but I was good enough to get by as a midfielder and/or defense on occasion.

I did have a nasty habit of knocking the ball out of the grasp of advancing forwards and it often resulted in me either half-slide tackling them or otherwise hitting them such that they fall square on me...and with light frame, I was usually crushed.

The coach wasn't particularly fond of me and berated me every time I got injured, but

I did a good job of keeping the ball away from the goal.

"Heh, well if you mean you want to see me crushed to death. Come and see its glory. I guess my death would be entertaining to some." My eyes darted to Sai.

"Sasuke, don't be negative you runt! You're totally awesome on the field," Naruto chimed in.

I blushed furiously from the compliment.

The conversation died out shortly after as we all headed back to classes.

Sai walked besides Naruto and whispered something. I felt like strangling that rat.

However my anger was wiped clean as Naruto stopped in his steps…

Yes…he stopped just for me.

I smiled stupidly as he came up and put his arm around my shoulders as we walked to class.

Even though the gesture, lasting as long as it did, may have been construed as outwardly gay, no one really paid any attention.

Okay…apart from the death glares I receive from someone…

Knowing that my arch nemesis was fuming with jealousy made me so much happier inside.

Naruto and I were always like that and everyone knew and accepted it.

Classes were resuming, I frowned as we parted, him giving me a pat on the back before bouncing off to his next subject.

I don't share any classes with the idiot this semester, but I drag my sorry ass to school just to spend the precious 40 mins during lunch with him, even if I have to share him.

I'll be seeing him at the end of the day.

_If only you knew how much you mean to me idiot…_


End file.
